


Happier

by mrsmikey1995



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Louis, Dirty Talk, Fluff and Smut, Gay Sex, M/M, Oral Sex, Sex, Smut, Top Harry, i dont know tags im so sorry, im awful at this yikes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-02-23 09:44:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23509528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrsmikey1995/pseuds/mrsmikey1995
Summary: Literally based off of Ed Sheeran's song Happier
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Louis Tomlinson/Original Male Character(s)
Kudos: 45





	Happier

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I know a lot of people liked this story in my big book of smut so I decided to just post it on its own to see if it could get more recognition.

**Happier**

It's literally based off the song “Happier” by Ed Sheeran, so it's kinda sad at the beginning but at the end it's happy. Smut does happen so it’s fine.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Walking down 29th and park_

_I saw you in another’s arms_

_Only a month, we’ve been apart_

_You look happier_

It was raining. Of course it was raining. It’s always raining. Harry lives in fucking England for Christ’s sake. . . but _he_ always loved the rain, which made Harry love it. But Harry doesn’t love the rain anymore.

He was walking down the street, trying to make it back to his flat before it started raining too hard when he saw something that made him stop dead in his tracks.

His feet were getting soaked, the rain water slipping through his four year old Chucks that he’s had since forever ago, and have holes in the soles of them and _really_ need to be thrown out, that he wears anyway just because he hasn’t had the motivation to go anywhere besides work. His clothes were so wet they were sticking to his body and his white T-Shirt was probably see-through by now, but he couldn’t care less because the boy he hasn’t talked to in a month and a half was standing right in front of him across the road.

He always loved the rain, Harry thought. And it was true, Louis _did_ love the rain. He would always make Harry get out of his flat when a terrible thunderstorm was happening in full swing, and he would dance with him. He would spin around in their yard and he would jump on Harry’s back and kiss his neck. He’d wrap his feet around Harry’s waist and he would demand to be carried across their front yard, yelling

“Giddy up, my trusty stallion!” In fact, those were the exact words he would say every time and it made Harry smile just thinking about it. It’s rained almost every single day for a month and Harry has sat on his front doorstep, soaking himself, each time; hoping that one of these times Louis would come running into his front yard yelling,

“C’mon Hazza! What’re you doin’ just sitting there?”

Louis looked beautiful. Even after a month and a half of no contact for the first time in over probably ten years. . . You wouldn’t even be able to tell that something that was affecting Harry this drastically even _happened_ to Louis. But Louis _always_ looks beautiful, Harry thought. And that was also true. Louis could have flour all over his face and in his hair, with chocolate syrup dripping from his eyelids (one of Harry’s favorite memories), or he could have just woken up and his hair was facing every which way, or he could look an absolute mess; but he’d always be absolutely breathtaking to Harry. And right now was no exception, except for the figure behind Louis. . . Harry had no clue who it was, which was the problem. There they were, standing in the rain, with the mystery man twirling Louis around, making Louis smile like a bloody idiot. Louis looked happy. He looked so fucking happy, was the thing.

Saw you walk inside a bar

He said something to make you laugh

I saw that both of your smiles were

Twice as wide as ours

Yeah, you look happier, you do

Harry wasn’t ashamed to admit that he followed them. After crying as he just stood there, watching the two that already looked like they were in love, dance around in the rain. He followed them for two whole blocks, just staying on the other side of the street, waiting to see if they would go to Louis’ flat, or if they would go to Mr. Dickheads place. But they didn’t go to either of those places. They went to the bar that Harry and Louis went to sometimes to make out in public without being judged for it; because they could always just blame it on the alcohol. . . And Harry swears if that’s what they’re going to do in here that he’ll kill himself. He waited a few minutes after they went in to cross the street and enter the bar. Luckily, the bar was too packed for anyone to even hear the bell above the door ring, signalling someone had entered. Harry picked a seat towards a secluded area no one ever really ventured to, making sure he had a good view of where Louis and what's his face were sitting. And oh boy did he.

Harry looked up just in time to see asshole crack a joke to Louis, causing Louis to burst out a cackle, before quickly covering his mouth with his hands. When he removed them from his face Harry realized he was smiling his “Happy Happy Smile” - is what Harry called it -, the one where the corners of his eyes crinkled up and he flashed all of his teeth and his eyes were a shade of blue that deserved it’s own museum. Harry always loved that laugh. It was the one where Louis unintentionally let out a burst of happiness, it was the most real one of his laughs, and that smile. God, that smile. That was Harry’s favorite smile in the world, because if you had the honor of seeing it up close, you would realize that it’s Louis’ most genuine smile, along with that laugh. That smile and that cackle were two of the biggest things he missed about his dear Louis, because he’s been without those two things longer than he’s been without Louis.

Right before Louis cut things off, right before everything ended, right before Harry lost everything, Louis stopped smiling like that. Stopped laughing at every one of Harry’s stupid ass jokes with one of his cackles. Stopped giving Harry any reactions at all, actually. They had grown apart they last few months they were together, and Harry had realized that. He had realized that what Louis ended up doing, was going to happen eventually. But when it happened, Harry couldn’t deal with it right. He still hasn’t dealt with it. But it seems like Louis didn’t even need to deal with it, Harry realizes as he watches Louis give kisses up and down assholes neck, and nuzzles his face into his hair, something he promised he’d never do to anyone else besides Harry.

_Ain’t nobody hurt you like i hurt you_

_But ain't nobody love you like i do_

_Promise that I will not take it personal, baby_

_If you're moving on with someone new._

_Cause baby you look happier, you do_

_My friends told me one day_

_Ill feel it too_

_And until then i'll smile to hide the truth_

_But i know i was happier with you_

Harry knows it was all his fault. Harry knows that the reason that they _actually_ had to break up was because of him. He knows, he does. But each and every time he thinks about it, it gets harder to accept. Harry didn’t show him enough attention. Harry was an asshole to him. Harry knows that now. Harry had just graduated from Uni, he had just started the bakery, he was dealing with Gemma getting married, and he was dealing with Robin’s death. He was dealing with so much shit that he had failed to acknowledge Louis. Of course he knew Louis was there, and he knew Louis was making him breakfast and dinner every night, and he knew that Louis was _trying_ . He was trying to deal with Harry ignoring him and blowing him off for something else. But Harry had always known his baby was there, no matter what Louis says. There was no way you could _not_ know Louis was there, he was Louis William Tomlinson. But Harry didn’t notice him enough. He didn’t appreciate him enough.

Harry would go straight to the bakery from Uni, which he worked at until 10 at night, and then he would get home and Louis would be cooking dinner. Harry would just go to their kitchen and shove his finals work, and his homework on the table and he would play some music and do that until Louis would place food in front of him and go watch Tv. Louis would try engaging Harry in conversation but he would always say,

“Can’t. I have to focus babe.” Which Louis understood, because he dealt with the horrors of finals for senior year in Uni two years prior, but he’d still get a bit down every time he heard it. When Harry would finish his work and everything he was doing in the kitchen he would go to their bedroom, Louis following not too far behind. Harry would lay down and Louis would take the opportunity to climb into his lap and start kissing his neck. Each time it sent shivers down Harry’s spine because it’s Louis and he’s sitting in his lap in their bedroom on their shared bed in their shared house and Harry would have to keep himself from combusting then and there, but then he would softly shove Louis off saying,

“I have to get up early tomorrow love, and it's already one. . . Not in the mood right now, let's just sleep tonight.” And that hurt Louis too because at that point they hadn’t done anything sexual for months and Louis understands everything Harry was going through but damnit he has needs too, and there’s a point where your hand doesn’t fulfill them anymore. But Louis would just oblige and he would lay down and he’d let himself be spooned by Harry, and he would push all of his thoughts down for one more night, just so he could have a good night's sleep without the worrying thought that Harry didn’t love him anymore.

And that was what killed Harry when he heard it. On the final day of them being _harryandlouis_ Louis had screamed at Harry all of his thoughts and his problems when they were fighting. Louis had been snappy all day and so had Harry and it just hadn’t worked out well in the end. And he just made Harry sit there and take it, too. He had told Harry that he wasn’t allowed to talk to him until after he was finished and he wasn’t allowed to bullshit. Louis had came bursting into their bedroom that night after Harry had stomped up the stairs, the night two months after Robin had died, which was also the night Harry had to come up with all of the cakes and cupcakes color patterns he was making for Gem’s wedding, and the night he had a fucking massive assignment due, yelling at Harry. . . finally standing up for himself. He had said,

“You’re going to listen to me. You’re going to sit there and look me in the eyes and you’re going to listen to me and you aren’t going to speak a word. Got it? Alright. You’ve noticed it. I know you have. . . There is no fucking way you couldn’t have noticed it. We haven’t been the same for months Harry. You have barely spoken three fucking sentences to me a day ever since I can remember, you blow me off to go to work, or to go sit in the kitchen with your fucking headphones in, you don’t look at me anymore, you don’t do anything with me anymore, you don’t go outside with me anymore, you don’t go out anymore, you don’t even let me touch you anymore! And I’d drop dead with surprise if you ever even touched me in the slightest way possible besides when we’re sleeping! I understand it’s hard for you right now, and I understand that you’re fucking stressed but god, have you ever thought about letting me help you? Have you ever thought about letting me see your schoolwork, or letting me help you out in the bakery, or even fucking talking to me once in awhile?! Have you even thought about _me_ in the last four months? Have you? Honestly? You can’t even _look_ at me Haz, what the hell am I supposed to do? Deal with you snapping at me, or not even talking to me at all some days, deal with you never being home? Never coming back until 12 in the morning? Where do you go? Are you out with other people because you’re too disgusted by me to even touch me? Are you seeing other people? Fucking other people behind my back? Is that why when you’re home you busy yourself with paperwork and homework and all this other bullshit? Is that why you’re so disgusted by me? Is it. . . Is it because you don’t love me anymore?”

And that was what had broken Harry. Because he realized he had drove Louis to be so fucking unsure of him and himself that he didn’t even think Harry _loved_ him anymore, which was one of the most untrue things Harry has ever even heard of. But Louis didn’t know that apparently. . . and all the things Harry had said to him after that didn’t help him or his situation either. Harry had yelled at him. Something he had promised himself he would never do, but did anyway. Harry had yelled and yelled and called Louis stupid for even thinking that, but continued to insult him anyway. He had even made Louis cry. He had made his baby cry. And not the good kind of cry, like when he tickled Louis so hard he cried. . . Or if he made Louis laugh so hard he’d cry, or when he would tie him to the bedposts and completely ruin him to the point where he couldn’t stop the tears if he tried, he had made his baby boy cry because he made his baby think he didn’t love him at all. And then Louis had broken it off right in front of him and then walked out, and Harry didn’t stop him. He was too shocked and too fucked up to even take a step without his legs giving out, let alone chasing Louis to his car. And before he had known it, he heard Louis’ car engine rev, and then drive down the street.

As Harry walked out of the bar, and down the street - still in the pouring rain - he tried not to take it too personal. He knew he deserved what he’s getting, and he knows he never deserved Louis’ and his 6 year relationship, and that there were so many people out there that were better for Louis than Harry ever was, but he couldn’t deny how much it hurt. He knew that that asshole in the bar that had Louis sitting on his lap could never love Louis as much as he does, but he also knew that that was the happiest Harry’s seen Louis in a long time. So if Louis is happy with asshole, than Harry has to be happy for him. And Harry has to smile it off and pretend like everything's fine because he fucked with Louis’ life once, and he doesn’t ever want to see him sad because of him again.

Harry reached his flat, and when he got to his door, his thighs were quaking and his feet hurt, but he didn’t care because his heart hurt worse. He took his soaking wet keychain and opened his door, to be hit with the smell of beer bottles. Like Harry said, he hadn’t been dealing too well, and cleaning was always more of a Louis thing. Harry stripped and threw his clothes to the basket in the hallway, that he’d have to force himself to clean later, walking to his kitchen and opening up the fridge. The only thing that was in there was beer, and some expired milk, but Harry wasn’t surprised. He hasn’t been able to keep a single meal down ever since Louis left him. He doesn’t really care, he’s needed to lose the extra bit of weight anyway. He grabbed a beer bottle and opened it, taking a swig stark naked in his kitchen. He didn’t care, wasn’t like anyone was going to see him anyway.

He was startled when his house phone rang above his head, wondering who the hell even had his house phone number. Harry reached up and grabbed it, pushing it to his ear before saying,

“ ‘Ello?” His voice was raspy, obviously from not using it since he closed the bakery which was a few hours before.

“Harold? I’ve been texting and calling you for an hour. How come you didn’t answer?” The irish voice filled Harry’s ears, relaxing him a little, before he realized why he hadn’t heard his phone go off.

“Fuckkk. . . My phone is probably rubbish now mate. I’ve been standing in the rain for like three hours.” Harry said, taking another swig.

“Well why the hell’d ya do that for?” Niall asked, scoffing a bit.

“I saw Louis.” Harry answered simply. Not even caring, considering Niall knew absolutely everything about what happened. He heard Niall gasp a bit, and rolled his eyes.

“Oh. . .” Niall had said.

“Yeah, ‘Oh. . .’. And he was with a guy Nialler. Another man that he was dancing with and that he was laughing with and that he was kissing and he. He’s moved on Ni. And now I don’t have a phone and I don’t have anything anymore, because nothing matters because he’s _happy_ now.” Harry muttered into the phone, feeling utterly pathetic.

“Oh Harry. It’ll get better, I swear. You’ll get there one day. How about we go out this weekend, yeah? Try and get you back in the game a bit. You’ll be happy with someone else again, you just have to be open to it.” Niall tried. . . And Harry loved Niall for trying. And he didn’t want to disappoint so he just muttered a quick,

“Yeah. I’ll be there. I gotta go mate, love you.”

“Love you too Harold. I’ll see you then okay?” And then the phone call ended and Harry was just standing there, beer in hand, phone in the other. And Harry thought,

_I can be happy with someone else, but I know I was happier with Louis._

PT 2

Sat in the corner of the room

Everythings reminding me of you

Nursing an empty bottle and telling myself you’re happier

Aren’t you?

Ain't nobody hurt you like i hurt you

But ain’t nobody need you like i do

I know there’s others that deserve you

But my darling,

I am still in love with you

_2 months forward_

The Tv stopped working a while ago when Harry stopped paying his cable bill. Sure he has his Xbox and he could just sit there and watch Netflix, but he used to do that with Louis. . . And there’s enough in this house that reminds Harry of Louis already. He’s sitting on the couch and he’s looking at everything in the room and all he can think is _LouisLouisLouis_ because they did everything in this house. They did everything in this room. They fucked on literally _every_ surface in this room and they laughed in this room and they cried in this room and they ate in this room and Louis even threw up in this room once. Everything in this fucking house triggers a memory of Louis for Harry and he _hates_ it but he fucking _loves_ it because that’s all he has left. All he has left are the memories and he hates it that the final ones he has with Louis are _terrible_.

Niall came over and cleaned the house, which Harry thanked him for a million times, while Harry was at the bakery. So the house wasn’t cluttered with dirty laundry and beer bottles for once, and although Harry enjoyed that it didn’t reek anymore, he felt lonelier. He felt vulnerable. So he was currently staring down at his sixth empty beer bottle and he thinks,

_This is better. This is okay._

When really, he knows it's not.

Harry has a thing against people that “drink to forget”, because drinking doesn’t help you forget shit. If anything it makes everything feel worse, and Harry knows that maybe if he wasn’t spit faced drunk all the time maybe he’d be able to get over everything a bit faster, he’d be able to get rid of the constant fucking _need_ to hold Louis again, and just the plain constant _need_ in general for Louis, but he couldn’t really care less.

The only thing Harry cares about is the fact that he made his baby hate him. He made the love of his life walk out the front door he’s sitting right in front of and he was too childish to chase after him. He let the best thing that ever happened to him walk out his front fucking door and now the best thing that ever happened to him is out having the time of his life with someone who's probably better for Louis than Harry was, is, and ever will be. Harry knows that asshole is so much better for Louis than he is, and he knows that asshole probably gives Louis the attention he deserves and he probably makes Louis happier than Harry ever did. . . But Harry also knows that he’s still truly, madly, and deeply in love with Louis William Tomlinson.

But i guess you look happier, you do

My friends told me one day id feel it too

I could smile to hide the truth

But i know i was happier with you

Niall took Harry out with him and his friends from work almost every week. And every time Harry went with him he ended up going home early because he felt too sick to even try and hook up with someone. He tried, he did. He really, really, really tried. But he couldn’t. Because every time he saw brown hair, he’d think of Louis. Every time he saw blue eyes, he’d think of Louis. Every time he saw a curvy waist, he’d think of Louis. And every time he tried to talk to someone, he’d want to cry, because they _weren’t_ Louis. So when he tells Niall every time that he’s just gonna walk home, he smiles his way through it. And every time Niall says,

“Try and be happy tonight okay mate?” Harry just nods his head, and walks out. Because he knows he was happier with Louis.

Baby, you look happier, you do

I knew one day you’d fall for someone new

But if he breaks your heart, like lovers do

Just know that i'll be waiting here for you

_2 months forward_

Ever since the first time Harry saw Louis with asshole almost five months ago, he’s seen Louis four more times. And each time he’s been with said asshole. Yes, it’s been five months and Harry still has not learned his name. He hasn’t wanted to find out what his name was. It was probably something like Dylan, or Luke, or Calum, or Nick or something. The guys with names like that are always super fucking great, and for Harry to find out his name, would mean finding out his job, and he’s probably got a shit load of money and can probably provide Louis with whatever the fuck he wants, and Harry already has enough reasons to hate himself.

At the beginning, when they had first broken up. . . Harry thought they would get back together in less than a week. That they would get over it and come back to each other because they loved each other. But that’s obviously not how it happened. Louis fell in love with someone else and Harry had to deal with it, because it was his fault.

Even though Harry knows he was wrong about that, he does know something he isn’t wrong about. Harry knows, that asshole will never be able to love Louis like Harry does. He might be able to appreciate him more, and cherish him more, and give him more attention, but he will _never, ever,_ love Louis the way Harry loves Louis. And Harry knows that he’ll never get over Louis. And that he was it for Harry, but Harry went and fucked it up. So Harry accepts that he’s never going to be able to be truly happy with another person like he was with Louis, but he does know that if asshole fucks up his once in a lifetime shot, that Harry will be there in a fucking heartbeat. Harry also knows that he will always be waiting for Louis, no matter what.

It happened two weeks after that realization hit Harry in the head like a baseball bat. Harry was at home, actually cleaning for once. He was picking up the beer bottles and throwing them away, and he actually had a load of laundry in the washing machine. It was raining so hard that it bounced off of Harry’s roof with loud _thuds_ each time a droplet hit it. Even though he tried not to, his mind automatically thought about how much Louis would have _loved_ to be here right now. Louis would probably be out there dancing around in the rain, twirling around in it and singing at the top of his lungs some song he’s heard a million times before. . . And Harry would be out there with him singing along, because even though he hated the song, he loved Louis.

Before he could get too into depth with the thought, a loud knock was heard coming from his front door. Harry’s first thought was,

_Whoever that is must really want to see me because if it wasn’t important I wouldn’t have been able to hear the knock over the rain._

And his second thought was

_Oh shit, I don’t have a shirt on. Or underwear. Oh well._

Because whoever was knocking on Harry’s door at 7 o’clock couldn’t have been that important. His only friend is Niall, and hell, he saw Harry naked just the other day. So Harry walked to the front of his house, to his front door, with his sweats hanging off of his hipbones and nothing else covering him. . . and he opened the door.

But. . . Harry’s perplexed is the thing. He had looked up, expecting to see Niall’s fake ass blonde hair, styled into his normal quiff, and he was expecting to hear a smart-ass comment that was something along the lines of “Oi mate! Go put some clothes on, ya filthy fuck twit!” But that’s not what happened.

Instead of the obviously-dyed blonde hair, he saw that oh so beautiful light brown fringe, that he never thought he was going to have the pleasure of seeing again. And instead of a smart ass comment, he heard someone scoff. And that someone was Louis. Louis was standing on his front porch and he was wearing Harry’s old sweatshirt that he thought he had lost and his hair was soaked to his forehead and his clothes were dripping onto his front steps and his beautiful blue eyes that Harry had missed so much, were red-rimmed and had obviously been used too much from crying. And it took Harry so long to process all of that at once, that he almost missed Louis’ quick hand movement and the hard sting on his left cheek.

It stunned both of them for a second, but then when Harry didn’t say anything Louis’ eyes got even darker and it wasn’t in a good way. Harry had always been able to read Louis just by looking into his eyes, and right now. . . Louis’ eyes were the exact same color they were as that day. That terrible, gut wrenching day when Harry lost everything. And before Harry knew it Louis was slapping him again, except on the other cheek this time. And yeah, he deserved it. Harry knew that, but it hurt like a bitch.

“Lou what’r--” Harry started to say, right before Louis grabbed him from his doorway and threw him out into his yard. Louis grabbed the door and closed it, before turning around and pointing a finger to Harry’s chest.

“Don’t you _dare_ call me that. You don’t get to do that anymore.” And _god_ , Harry knew Louis was pissed. Harry knew he had to be absolutely vivid to even come back to Harry’s street, let alone drag him out of his house. But Harry missed his voice. Harry missed him yelling at him, Harry missed Louis laughing at him and crying with him and just talking to him in general. And when Harry didn’t say anything, Louis lost it.

“God, you arsehole!” Louis yelled, pushing Harry’s chest, pushing him farther into his yard. “You.” Another push. “Fucking.” Push. “Dick.” Push. “Twat.” Push. “Fucking arsehole!” Push. And Harry just stood there and took it. He knew he deserved it, but he also knew that every time Louis’ hand touched his bare chest his skin perked up. He was now soaking wet, and the rain was coming down so hard he couldn’t see five feet in front of him. But he saw Louis. Of course he saw Louis. He looked beautiful. He looked fucking amazing even though there were obviously tears and snot and everything else running down his face, and if Louis saw what his hair looked like right now, he would flip shit.

“I see you still don’t know how to fucking talk to me!” Louis yelled, not even caring that he was screaming. No one would be able to hear them from inside anyway, and they’re the only ones crazy enough to be caught dead in this storm. Harry just stupidly tried to stutter out a response, but when he couldn’t he just shut his mouth.

“You’re a fucking arsehole and you _ruined_ me Harry. But you know what? I’m still standing here like a fucking idiot because I don’t know how to _not_ come back to you! I was happy, and I was perfectly fine but then you just had to come back and fuck everything up again! God. . . I’m so fucking _stupid_. . .” Louis said, pulling at his hair, turning around from Harry. He started walking away, but then he turned around and said,

“It’s been six fucking months Harry. That’s half a fucking year. And you didn’t come after me once. Not one fucking time. I waited. I waited and I waited but you never fucking showed up and god. . . You’re such a dickhead! You can’t just fuck with my feelings like that, goddamn it! I had Nick and I had friends and I had a new life and I had everything but all I wanted was you! And you treated me like shit but I can’t stop fucking thinking about you! And you’re such a bitch for that. Honestly, fuck you for treating me like actual garbage and then still making me love you. And I have such shit taste in guys because that’s the same damn thing Nick did to me! He left me and said that I was a whore and I was gross. . . And god, you still haven’t said a fucking word and you probably moved on! God I’m such an idiot! Niall’s a piece of shit now too I guess. . . I never should have believed him. God you probably think I’m patheti--” And that was all Harry needed to hear before he was lunging forward and cupping Louis’ head with his hands before shoving his lips to Louis’.

Louis’ lips were just how Harry had left them, thinner than his, but just as soft. They fit Harry’s perfectly and he knew he missed this. He knew he missed kissing Louis and holding Louis and seeing Louis but now that he has it back he’s dependent on it like it’s oxygen. And he isn’t letting it get away this time. Louis just whimpered and wrapped his hands in Harry’s curls, bringing their bodies closer together in the pouring rain. It’s giving Harry so many flashbacks to all the times where they’ve done this before, but it's never been this intimate. It’s never been this important to them, as this moment is. All Harry could sense, all he could pay attention to was the fact that this is his baby. Louis is here in his yard, in the middle of a thunderstorm, kissing him back with all the undealt emotions that he’s held back from everyone including himself. And just thinking about how he spent all these months without this, without the dancing in the rain, and without the snarky little comments, and without the morning breath kisses, and without all the tiny little things he absolutely adored about Louis. . . And the fact that now he might get to have it all back, made him cry. As he and Louis stood there, absolutely soaking wet, kissing each other with a passion that they themselves didn’t even know was possible. . . They were both crying like babies.

“Don’t ever think I don’t love you Lou. Don’t ever ever ever think that ever again baby, please.” Harry whimpered out, taking a breath and resting his forehead on Louis’. “I’m such a fucking idiot and I deserve all of that. I'm so fucking stupid but god, I’m so in love with you. I love you, I love you, I love you. I promise. I promise, I promise, I promise. I didn’t mean anything I said that day and I’m sorry I never talked to you or touched you or looked at you or came after you when I know I should have, but god, I love you. I hate myself for making you think I don’t but I do. There’s only ever been you Lou, I love you so fucking much.” Harry rambled, looking into those cerulean colored eyes that he never thought he’d get to see up this close again, trying to un-blur everything because of the rain and his tears. Louis just nodded and pulled Harry down again, and kissed him hard. Louis kissed Harry like he’s wanted to for months, he kissed Harry like he wanted to when he was with Nick. Louis kissed Harry like he used to kiss Harry.

Harry moved his hands from the sides of Louis’ head and trailed them down his sides, slowly slipping over every curve that he would think about at night when he missed Louis the most. . . When he couldn’t stop thinking about him and his waist that Louis always hated, or the dimples at the bottom of Louis’ spine Louis thought were weird, or about Louis’ thighs that Louis always tried to get rid of. . . Harry got to his waist and rubbed his thumbs over Louis hip bones that were poking out from where his sweat shirt rode up. Harry put one hand in the small of Louis’ back, pressing their wet bodies closer together, tempted to place a hand on Louis bum. . . But he didn’t want to push anything so he just let it rest on his baby’s back, enjoying the way Louis’ lips felt against his again.

“You’re so beautiful Louis, I missed you so much. God I fucking missed you. I couldn’t eat and I couldn’t sleep and god I love you. I don’t care what I said that day, you’re the most beautiful thing Lou. . . God I missed you so much. I missed all of you. Seeing you with him killed me. . . But I know I deserved it. I caused you so much pain baby and I’m so sorry. I love you so much and the fact that that asshole had the nerve to call you those things. . . God you deserve so much better than men like him Lou. You’re the only person I even thought about these past months. I couldn’t look at other people and the only person I talked to was Niall and all I talked about was you. You’re so amazing and I feel like shit that I made you think any differently. I hate myself so much for making you think I didn’t love you anymore baby boy.” Harry said, stuffing his face into Louis’ neck, lightly kissing under his ear.

And. . . The thing is, Harry didn’t mean for any of it to be sexual. He didn’t. He wasn’t worried about having sex with Louis right now, he was worried about getting his baby back for good. But he can’t deny the fact that his cock twitched a bit when Louis whimpered against Harry’s neck. And yeah, for being with Louis as long as he has, he should’ve remembered that Louis had a thing for praise. He should've remembered to keep it lowkey at least a little but, he totally blanked. And going almost 9 months (considering Harry was too stressed to do anything sexual towards the last three months of their relationship) without that beautiful noise that Louis just made. . . Harry wasn’t really surprised that his cock was the least bit interested.

But maybe Louis’ just whimpering because he’s happy, or because he’s crying. Harry doesn't want to freak him out, especially since this is the first time they’ve contacted each other in months. Besides, it wouldn’t be the first time he’s had to get himself off because of Louis in the past 6 months. So, just to make sure that he heard him in the right way, Harry moved both of his hands to Louis’ back, to the top of Louis’ waistband; just resting them there. He moved his kisses from under Louis’ ear, down his neck, getting to the juncture where his neck meets his shoulder and placing a kiss there. He felt Louis shutter, but it was probably from the fact that they were still in the pouring rain.

Harry was going to stop and tell Louis to come inside because he noticed Louis didn’t bring his car. . . which meant he walked here and Harry wasn’t about to let him walk back in this condition. But when Harry went to move away from Louis his leg brushed against something that was way too hard to be Louis’ thigh. Louis whimpered again, and tried shoving his face even farther into Harry’s neck; Harry could feel Louis’ cheeks heat up into the crook where his face was lying and he smirked. After all this time he can still make his baby hard as a rock without even touching him properly.

“Baby. . .” Harry asked, making sure he wasn’t overstepping any boundaries, as he pressed his leg up against Louis’ hard on. Louis gasped, before nibbling on Harry’s neck, making Harry shiver.

“Hazza. . .” Louis whispered into Harry’s ear, before grinding down onto Harry’s leg. Harry was a bit taken aback at Louis’ sudden movement, but then he just smirked before saying,

“Lou let's go inside yeah?” And Louis was nodding and speed walking to the door before Harry had time to process what might be about to happen. But when he realized he was just standing in the rain like an idiot he ran to his front door, and entered his house. Harry closed the door, and when he turned back around he saw Louis with his hands behind his back, and he was staring down at his feet with a blush spreading from his cheeks down to his neck.

“Lou? Are you okay?” Harry asked, walking over to Louis, and grabbing his chin in between his thumb and index finger, making Louis look at him. When Harry’s green eyes locked with his favorite pair of blue ones, he noticed that Louis was still crying.

“Boo? We don’t have to do anything. . . I’m more than happy just sitting with you for right now.” Harry said, leaning his forehead against Louis’. “I know you have no reason to believe anything I say from now on, but I wouldn’t ever make you do that. Ever.” Harry finished.

“I know. God, I know.” Louis said, before lunging at Harry and connecting their lips again. Harry sighed as he grabbed Louis’ waist and aligned them properly, causing their clothed erections to rub together. Instead of a whimper this time, Louis full out moaned and Harry’s cock immediately started to fatten up in his soaking sweats. Which reminded him,

“Lou. . . Babe. . . We’re soaking wet.” Harry said, panting a bit as Louis started to rub their cocks together more firmly.

“I think you know how to fix that problem Haz.” Louis whispered in his ear, making Harry shiver, but nod in agreement.

“Are you sure?” Harry asked, nosing Louis’ neck as Harry’s hands slid down Louis abdomen to the waistband of his pants.

“I have been for a long time Harry.” Louis replied, arching his back into Harry’s hold. Hearing all the reassurance he needed, Harry slid his hands down, pushing his hands right past the waistband of Louis’ trousers, coming into contact with Louis’ pants. Harry was going to just continue his journey downward until he had gotten a handful of Louis’ arse. . . But Louis said,

“Take the pants off too Haz, please.” And who was Harry to deny his boy whatever he wanted, after so long without the chance? So Harry pulled his hands back up and thumbed the top of Lou’s underwear, purposely taking his time. Louis whined, pushing back into his hands. Harry tutted.

“Tsk, tsk. What do you say?” Harry asked, rubbing Louis’ dimples.

“P-Please Harry. . .” Louis replied, resting his head on Harry’s bare collarbone as he rutted against him.

“There you go baby,” Harry said, and slowly slid his hands into Louis’ pants, finally feeling the bare swell of Louis’ arse that he missed oh so much. “God, I missed this Lou. I missed you. I miss touching you like this,” Harry whispered the next part into Louis’ ear, while he grabbed two handfuls of Louis’ arse in each hand. “Miss making you feel good.”

Louis’ breath audibly hitched, as his hips stuttered against Harry’s.

“Miss it too. . .” Louis breathed, continuing his slow grinding against Harry.

“Ah, ah, ah. Slow down. We have all night love.” Harry said, grabbing Louis’ hips and stopping them from moving as fluently as they were before. Louis whined as he clawed at Harry’s neck, trying not to move his hips as much as possible. “Let's get you out of these things, yeah?” Harry finished, looking at Louis making sure what he said was okay. Louis nodded before he helped Harry get him out of his trousers and pants, then followed by his shirt that they practically had to peel off of his torso.

Now, when Louis was with Harry, he was almost never shy, always being the confident one that didn’t care what other people think. Sure he had a few insecurities and things on his body that he could do without and that he'd like to get rid of, but doesn't everyone? But ever since he and Harry broke up, his self confidence had plummeted quite a lot. And the things that he allowed Nick to say to him, and the things that he started to believe probably didn’t help.. And now as he stood completely bare in front of Harry, who he hadn’t talked to in seven months, and who was looking at him with such a powerful stare that Louis couldn't decrypt (and to add on top of everything, Harry is one of the prettiest males Louis had ever seen). . . Louis felt kind of embarrassed.

Because Nick wasn’t the only one who noticed the weight Louis had put on recently. . . Nick wasn’t the only one who noticed how Louis wasn’t that pretty anymore. . . Louis noticed all of those things before Nick even had, and here Louis was. . . Standing right in front of Harry in the house that holds so many memories he wants to cry, stark naked, waiting for some kind of approval. But Harry just stared, he looked him up and down, up and down, and he could _feel_ his mouth watering. He had remembered how beautiful Louis was like this, open and vulnerable. . . Waiting for something, anything.

And then Louis moved his hands that had been hanging awkwardly from his sides, to cover up his stomach. Because Harry had just kept _staring_ and maybe he was still disgusted with Louis. Maybe Louis had gone and fucked everything up again because he couldn't be good enough for someone as good looking as Harry, and maybe. . . . But Louis thoughts were cut short when Harry had rushed forward taking hold of Louis’ hands in his larger ones before saying,

“Kitten. . . You are absolutely gorgeous, don't hide from me.” Harry was obviously super big on pet names. He thought they gave him a feeling of possession of sorts. Not that Louis was an object, per say, because he isn't. But it was like if Harry said it enough, it would obviously and physically claim Louis as his.

Louis had never been big on pet names _before_ he met Harry. After he met Harry he realized everything he had been missing out on. But since he hasn't heard anything like that in months, he ducked his head down even farther into Harry's chest, and blushed harder than he was before.

Harry groaned, because when Louis put his head on to Harry’s chest, since there is such a big height difference, Harry had a perfect view of Louis’ bum. It was round and plump and was right there and Harry had been thinking about this for _so_ long and he couldn't contain himself anymore.

“Loubear. . . I-I need to get my sweats off okay love?” Harry asked, rubbing Louis’ sides comfortingly. Louis nodded but instead of moving away, he just moved his hands from around Harry’s neck to his waistband before sliding his hands under the fabric. Since Harry’s pants had already been low enough to show most of his happy trail, there wasn’t much left that you couldn’t see besides his pubes and his cock. . . So Louis decided against the teasing and immediately wrapped a hand around Harry. Never had Harry been more thankful for his lack of clothing.

Harry grunted, laying his head onto Louis’ shoulder as he continued to stroke him. Harry’s imagined it so many times, Louis coming back and loving him again. He tried to save the dirty thoughts until after hours because when he’s at home, stiffies are emotionally painful, but easier to get rid of than if he would grow one at work. But Louis actually came back, Louis actually admitted that he still loved him, Louis is actually standing in front of him with one of his hands wrapped around Harry’s shaft. And this alone could have Harry reaching his climax in seconds, and Harry isn’t like Louis. . . He can’t come four times in a night, so he stopped Louis because he wants to last at least a _little_ bit longer.

“Louis, baby, I don’t want to come like this. . . Please.” Harry moaned into Louis’ ear as he flicked his wrist on the upstroke, spreading the precum around Harry’s head with his thumb. Louis shoved Harry’s sweats down and was about to kneel down to take Harry into his mouth, when Harry stopped him, stepping out of his pants.

“Nuh, uh, baby. . .” Harry said, helping Louis back up. Louis flushed, looking down at his feet.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know if you wanted to or not and I guess you don’t, I know it wouldn’t have been the bes--” Louis had rambled, but Harry cut him off with a short kiss to the lips.

“Loubear, you know I absolutely _love_ your mouth,” Harry said looking Louis in the eyes, making sure Louis understood that he hadn’t meant anything in a bad way. “Don’t give me that baby. . . But I’m planning on this night taking a while and it wouldn’t be a good start if I came now.” Harry finished, making Louis blush harder.

Harry noticed that this is the most. . . submissive Louis’ ever been before. Louis was always so sure of what he was doing, when it came to anything, especially in bed. He was always so confident in himself, but right now Harry could tell that he wanted reassurance. Louis deserved all of the reassurance he could ever want, in Harry’s eyes. . . Especially after what Harry did to him. All he had wanted all those months ago was to be reassured that Harry still loved him, and Harry would be damned if he was caught dead making Louis’ think anything else besides that tonight. And yeah, this was a change. This was such a drastic change Harry didn’t know if he was doing everything right. . . But it was a nice change. Harry didn’t mind it that much; he didn’t mind it at all actually.

Now that they were both naked, Louis didn’t feel _as_ exposed as before, but he was still out of his comfort zone. Harry could tell that Louis was uncomfortable, so much that he was going soft again. And no. Oh no. That cannot work. So Harry walked over to Louis, purposely rubbing their lengths together, and whispered into Louis’ ear,

“Do you feel what you do to me baby? Can you feel how bad I want you?” Harry rubbed his hands up and down Louis’ sides, tracing every curve and every bump and every scar, and every stretch mark that Louis had tried desperately to get rid of. Harry nibbled on Louis’ earlobe and said, “Mmm, I missed you so much. You don’t even want to know how many times I got myself off thinking about what we did in these rooms. . . Do you remember? Like the time I bent you over the table and took you, didn’t let you come until you were crying. . . Or the time I tied you to the bed and ate you out for an hour and a half. . .” Harry smirked when he felt Louis’ hard on rub against his, signalling his plan to rile his baby up again worked.

“I almost forgot my favorite one. . . The time you tied me up and rode my face until you came four times. . . Bet Nick couldn’t even make you come twice.” Harry spit, jealousy coursing his way through his veins at the thought of Nick even _touching_ Louis like this. Harry was right. Someone like that had to be named Nick. He called it. Louis gasped at Harry’s sudden aggression, his cock twitching against Harry’s.

“Couldn’t even make me come once. . .” Louis breathed, out of breath from the light grazing Harry’s cock was doing to his own. Harry’s head shot up at that, wanting to laugh a bit but contained himself. Barely.

“Are you serious? He couldn’t even get you up?” Harry asked, and yeah. It was disrespectful. But Harry didn’t care in the slightest. Louis shook his head, and Harry was about to _actually_ laugh but what Louis said cut him short.

“I don’t know. I wouldn’t let him.” And. Okay. Wow. Harry was so confused.

“What do you mean?” Harry asked, making sure to keep rubbing Louis sides so he wouldn’t get uncomfortable again, slightly brushing their cocks together.

It made Louis’ breath hitch, but he kept explaining himself.

“I mean, I wouldn’t let him. . . _Do_ anything.” Louis said, pushing his face into Harry’s chest again. And. Okay. Wow. That news hit Harry like a truck. It had taken him a minute, but once he fully understood what Louis had meant by that. . . “The farthest he went was a few slaps to my bum, and that was only when I wasn’t paying attention.” Louis finished. And. Yeah. Okay. Harry quickly cupped Louis’ bum with both of his large hands, one cheek being completely covered by one of his hands, a perfect fit, and squeezed. . . making Louis gasp and push back into his hold.

“This?” Harry said, pushing their bodies together with his grasp on Louis’ ass, “Is _mine._ ” He kneaded Louis’ bum with both of his hands, and Louis whimpered into Harry’s chest, rapidly nodding his head.

“I-I know it is Hazza. That’s why I haven’t. . . I-I didn’t. . . Umph. . .” Louis huffed, stuttering because he was so worked up.

“Sshh baby. Calm down and focus, you’re okay.” Harry said, planting kisses up and down Louis neck as he played with Louis’ bum.

“I-I haven’t. I haven’t touched myself, _there_. . . Since the last time we d-did anything. . .” Louis said, trying to push his face even farther into Harry’s chest. And. Oh. Wow. Okay. That’s. That’s a lot for Harry to take in because Harry knows how much Louis loves being filled. Harry knows how much Louis loves to be taken care of, and they haven’t done anything in nine months. That’s far too long for Louis to have held up. He’s gotta be joking.

“Baby. . .” Harry groaned into Louis’ ear. “You’re kidding right?”

“I mean, I wanked a lot. I tried not to I swear, but I kept thinking about you and then thinking about you would lead to thinking about you doing. . . _things_ and that would lead to me getting stiffies and then that would lead to Nick asking if he could take care of it and I always told him no. But I wanted to. I wanted to use one of my toys or something, but that means I have to open myself up and it. It didn’t feel right Hazza. . .” Louis trailed off, cheeks a bright pink. “Nick walked in on me wanking and I was. . . I was saying ‘Harry’ instead of Nick. And he knew about you. He knew that that was my ex’s name was Harry. And so he got mad and. And he yelled at me and called me all of these terrible things and I just. I didn’t have anywhere else to go. I went to Niall’s but he didn’t answer, Liam and Zayn are out of town and Lottie is with her boyfriend for the night and you were my last option and I just--”

“Don’t you _ever_ go to someone else if you need help okay?” Harry cut Louis off, removing his hands from Louis’ butt and placing them on his hips, bringing them closer together. Their cocks rubbed against each other and caused both of them to moan. “ _Shit_ . . . I-If you need somewhere to stay or someone to talk to or _anything_ , you come to me. It breaks my heart that you thought you couldn’t come here because you thought I hated you. It absolutely breaks my heart baby. I’m so so sorry. . .” Harry started, slowly rubbing their lengths together. “Let me make it up to you. That’s a shit compromise but we can talk about it later. Please let me do this for you baby. Please please please. . . You deserve it tonight.” Harry finished, holding Louis close and sucking a love bite into the skin of his neck.

Louis whimpered, nodding his head.

“Please Haz. Please please please. . .” Louis whimpered, wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck. Harry reached below Louis to grab a hold onto his thighs, tapping them lightly before saying,

“Jump.” Louis did jump, and Harry wrapped his arms around his baby and started making his way toward what used to be, and what might get to be again, their shared bedroom. Halfway down the hallway, Louis placed his lips to Harry’s, but this kiss wasn’t rushed. It wasn’t full of lust, or need. . . The only word that Harry had to describe it with was _love_ . Louis still _loved_ him. Louis _wanted_ to _love_ him. And the thought alone made harry groan and hold Louis tighter.

After a bit of a struggle, Harry managed to get him and Louis down the hall and into his room, almost breaking the door handle off when the tip of his cock rubbed against Louis’ hole from how he was holding him. Louis had whimpered and shoved his face into Harry’s neck, which caused Harry’s cock to twitch, which caused Louis to moan so loud it was almost inexcusable, and it was a very vicious cycle considering Harry couldn’t get the fucking door open. But he did, and he walked over to the bed and threw Louis down onto it, being as graceful as possible, give or take their situation.

And if Harry just stood there, and admired the vulnerable side of Louis that apparently he’s still the only one that has been lucky enough to see, well then he’s only human. Because honestly, whatever the hell that he did in his past life that was good enough for him to earn Louis in this one, he was eternally grateful for. Because what in the hell do you have to do to earn this beautiful chunk of man sitting in the middle of his bed, legs spread, begging to be _devoured_? That’s what Harry wanted to know. Harry was just a tall, annoying, clumsy fool that was in absolute love with this. . . this god of a person that was currently laying in his bed. Harry knows that if he would ever sit down and try to do the math, that nothing would add up.

Harry could tell Louis was getting restless, but he just stood there and admired his baby one more time before he lost all of his self control. Louis had sweat running down his forehead, and he was obviously fighting the urge to grind down onto the mattress, failing quite miserably.

“There you go baby, we’ve got all night. Do whatever you want okay? Tonight is about making you feel good.” Harry said, crawling on top of Louis, watching him try to get the much needed friction on his neglected hole. Louis nodded his head, now knowing that he was allowed to do as he pleased, he started grinding down harder on the sheets; the fabric catching on his rim and causing him to shake. Harry just stared at his love, watching him grip the sheets each time a shiver went down his spine, watching him whimper because every time he brought his hips back up from rubbing on the sheets, their cocks just barely touched, and Louis didn’t know which pleasure to chase.

Harry’s cock hung fat and red from his abdomen, right above Louis’, already dripping pre-cum just from the sight of Louis like this again. Just the image right in front of him, Louis confidently chasing his own pleasure, trying to reach his own peak, making himself feel good, made Harry want to bust a nut right then and there, but he managed to control himself, barely.

“H-Harry. . .I need, you to do something. I c-can’t do it by myself. H-Harry please. .” Louis begged, arching his back, causing their erections to rub up against each other again, ripping pornographic moans from both of them.

“Ssh, baby. . . I’ve got you. Slow down, and tell me what you need.” Harry whispered into Louis’ ear, causing goosebumps to appear on his skin.

“I-I. . . I need your. . . Hmph. . .” Louis huffed, obviously aggravated by the way he couldn’t manage to catch his breath, but Harry helped him out.

“Do you want to use some of our toys? I still kept them you know,” Harry started, slowly grinding down onto Louis’ body with his own, making sure to keep the movements sensual and sweet. “Sometimes I would look at them, and remember how pretty you were while you used them. How hot you looked when I would tie you up, how beautiful you looked when you were _writhing_ on one of your vibes, and I would get _so_ hard Lou. I’d get so hot and bothered and all I’d be able to think about was you. . . Is that what you want to do baby? You want me to bring out that box?” He finished, placing his head in the juncture of Louis’ shoulder, placing a love bite there, biting down as he finished his sentence and causing Louis to hiss.

Louis moaned, his hips bucking uncontrollably at the praise Harry was showering onto him. But Louis also shook his head no, which caused Harry to frown in confusion.

“Make me understand BooBear. . . Let me know what I can do to make you feel good. All I wanna do is make you feel as good as possible tonight. We can do whatever you want, just say the word.” Harry said, trailing his right hand down Louis’ chest, making sure to keep his left arm steady, as not to crush Louis with his weight if he were to fall.

“I don’ want toys tonight Hazza. . .” Louis started, finally finding his voice as well as possible. “Just you and m-me tonight. . . Please. . .” He finished, shoving his head into Harry’s neck and breathing in the scent he missed so much. And yeah. Okay. Harry can do that.

“Yeah? Is that what you want baby?” Harry asked, rubbing Louis’ sides with his hands, that were just itching to get ahold of Louis; no matter what part of Louis he can get, he isn’t very picky.

Louis rapidly nodded his head, bucking his hips up trying to get any kind of friction he could get away with. He also tried to move a hand down to Harry’s length, whining when Harry took both of his hands, gently, and placed them above his head on the pillows. Harry chuckled before saying,

“I’ve always loved how eager you are kitten, how eager you are to please. . . But not tonight Lou. Tonight’s all about you. I’m not going to let you leave this bed thinking you don’t mean the absolute world to me. If that takes all night and all day then so be it,” Harry trailed off, shivering at the thought of just staying in bed with the love of his life all day, one more time. “God, I’m such an _asshole_. . . I’m so so so sorry baby. I didn’t mean any of it, I’m such a fucking idiot.” He rambled, but was cut short when he noticed the way that Louis was staring at him.

It wasn’t the way that Harry’s cock was still hanging hard and heavy in between his legs, to the point where it was borderline painful. . . It wasn’t the fact that he was naked and sweaty above an equally naked and sweaty Louis. . . And he’s pretty sure it’s not the fact that it’s only 50 degrees in his house. . . It’s the way that Louis is looking at him, was the thing. It sent shivers from Harry’s spine down to the tips of his toes. It’s the fact that that’s how Louis _used_ to look at Harry, before everything went to shit. That’s how Harry would catch Louis looking at him when he would first wake up and see Louis staring at him like a lovesick sap. That’s the way Louis would look at Harry when Louis would come home and see that Harry had made dinner for him, and was already started on dessert. That was the way Louis looked at Harry when he first asked him to be his boyfriend all those years ago. That was the look that Harry had been desperate to be given ever since Louis stopped giving it.

That was when Harry lost his composure, surging down to meet Louis’ lips with his. Harry cradled Louis’ head with his hands, sitting on his knees, bringing Louis into a sitting position as well, making the position they were both in 10 times less awkward. Louis tasted like a mixture of cigarettes, apples, sweat, and something so utterly Louis that it overwhelmed Harry to the point where he was gasping for air, but not wanting to end the kiss just yet. Louis’ left hand was placed on Harry’s chest, his blunt fingernails scraping down Harry’s chest, and his right hand was tangled in Harry’s curls that were all over both of their faces. Louis tugged on a handful of Harry’s hair, and Harry groaned, moving his hands back down to Louis’ ass, groping and kneading as he pleases.

Harry moved his right hand to the bottom of Louis’ spine, right above the swell of his arse, dipping his pointer finger into the dimples that lay there; the ones Harry absolutely adored. Harry moved his kisses to the corner of Louis’ mouth, to his cheek, to his jaw, and all the way down his neck. He sucked and nibbled and licked and made as many bruises and marks as he wanted to because he _could_ now. He got to _mark_ his _baby_ again and to hell if Harry wasn’t going to take that chance. If Louis woke up tomorrow morning feeling like this was the worst decision of his life, than Harry won’t blame him. Because Harry was an asshole to Louis and he doesn’t deserve to get any of his love or trust back at all. But if Louis leaves again, Harry wants Louis to _remember_ what happened. He wants Louis to remember how _good_ Harry made him feel. Call him mean, or selfish, or whatever the hell you _want_ to call it. Harry had his reasons.

Harry made his way back up the span of Louis’ neck, when he reached that spot right under Louis’ ear, the one that had the power to make Louis shiver in all the right ways if kissed just the right way. Louis’ sweet spot had the ability to make Louis produce sounds that would be in anyone’s wank bank for literal years.

Harry took his tongue, and traced along the sensitive strip of soft skin below Louis’ ear, and wasn’t even surprised by Louis’ reaction. Louis had gasped and gripped Harry’s hair with both of his hands as he shoved his face into Harry’s neck, slowly starting to grind against Harry’s leg once more.

“Hmm. . . You like that baby?” Harry whispered lowly into Louis’ ear, obviously already knowing the answer. Louis whimpered and nodded his head into Harry’s shoulder, face red and slick with sweat. So Harry did it again, except this time he sucked on the wet patch of skin, biting down ever so slightly. Louis’ hips stuttered in the pattern that he had built up, and he moaned deep in his throat. That was always one of Harry’s favorite spots on Louis. . . Harry thought to himself, before trailing his right hand that had previously been rubbing at Louis’ back, down to Louis’ crack, before slowly, so, so, slowly, squeezing in between Louis’ cheeks and rubbing at his rim with a dry finger. Louis let out a choked up moan before arching his back and pushing into the touch.

“Please, please, please Hazza. I need it. I need you . . I-I want,” Louis rambled to Harry, trying to get Harry to push a finger into his poor, neglected hole.

“Sshh Lou, I got you.” Harry said, applying pressure to Louis’ rim with his finger, reveling in the noises Louis was making because of it. “Is this what you want, baby? Is the thought of this what has you all hot and bothered?” He whispered, rubbing circles into the ring of muscles, giving Louis enough friction to be a mess, but not enough to actually penetrate him.

Louis quickly nodded his head, not even caring about how desperate he looked or sounded. Harry didn’t let up though, he just kept up his sweet torture until Louis actually started whining into Harry’s shoulder. The noises that Louis was now making out of desperation, were what was going straight to Harry’s cock, besides Louis and his naked body itself.

Harry removed his body from Louis’, reaching over to his nightstand that still has the lube from the last time he wanked in it, and brought it back over to the bed where Louis was still sitting, rutting into thin air.

“I’m back baby, I’m back. I got you now okay? How do you want this? This is about you. . .” Harry said, for what seemed to be the millionth time that night.

“Wanna be able to see you. . .” Louis muttered, and if Harry hadn’t been expecting a quiet answer he probably wouldn’t have heard it.

“Yeah? You wanna watch me make you feel good? Speak up love, you know I don’t mind when you get loud.” Harry replied with a smirk in his voice. Louis whined at that, and Harry was reminded of the current task at hand. . . So he hurried and laid Louis down on his back on the bed and reached over grabbing the half empty bottle of lube and poured a generous amount onto his fingers, rubbing them together to warm up the liquid a bit, before taking his index finger and putting it back at Louis’ entrance.

“Are you sure this is what you want baby?” Harry asked Louis when his finger was back at the spot he hadn’t touched Louis this intimately in forever.

“I’m pretty sure you can figure out that answer yourself Haz.” Louis answered, bucking his hips off the mattress so his and Harry’s rock hard lengths rubbed against each other.

And. Well. That was all the confirmation Harry needed to push his lube covered index finger into Louis’ entrance, moaning at tight, tight, heat that washed around his digit.

“God Louis. You were fucking serious weren’t you?” Harry moaned, wanting nothing more than to just fuck his fingers in and out of Louis, but having to stay buried to just the knuckle for Louis safety because he was _so_ tight.

“Hmph, I wouldn’t lie about s-something like that Harry - _god_ -, I wish I-I wa--” Louis was cut off by a moan that escaped his throat when Harry pushed his finger even farther into Louis, rubbing against his walls with expertise. And god did Harry miss this, getting Louis to the point of euphoria where he couldn’t even form proper sentences. Knowing that he was making his baby feel so good that he couldn’t even think about anything else was probably what got Harry off the most, out of all things he’s ever done that included sex.

As Harry slowly thrusted his finger back and forth, in and out, out of Louis, he purposely missed his prostate, because Louis is naturally sensitive everywhere. Prostates are already guaranteed quick orgasm hot spots, and Louis’ is extra sensitive. And now that Harry knows that Louis’ wasn’t kidding what so ever when he said that nothing has touched his prostate in 9 months, he wanted to be extra careful. But on the other hand, in the back of Harry’s mind, he just wanted to give Louis as much pleasure as he possibly could. Harry knows that Louis can cum way more than twice in one go, and he wants to give Louis whatever he wants, but he also doesn’t want to go too fast either. Honestly, Harry is in a predicament. Life is hard.

In the end Harry ends up just giving Louis what he wants, not wanting to deny his love of anything this important ever again. He carefully pushes another finger in, after having added more lube, and scissored them around a few times before lightly rubbing over Louis’ prostate. And. Well. Louis’ reaction would probably be burned into the back of his eyelids for life now because. Wow. Wow. Is literally the only way that Harry can explain it. He wanted to have that reaction recorded, trademarked, copyrighted, and documented until the day he dies because it was honestly the best fucking thing he thinks he’s ever seen in his entire 24 years of life on this Earth and he’s seen lots of quite beautiful things. . . But never anything like that.

As soon as Harry had _touched_ the little bundle of nerves inside Louis (honestly not even needing to search for it, knowing from memory what places make Louis feel the best in every position), his back had arched,and his hips pressed down onto Harry’s fingers, and the _moan_ he let out was nearly inexcusable how much it sound like porn, and before Harry even had the chance to thrust his fingers back out and in again, Louis was already practically _riding_ them and god, did that make Harry’s mouth salivate. So Harry just let Louis do his thing, let him chase his pleasure the way he wanted to, and Harry honestly isn’t even surprised that after a full minute of Louis on his own he’s already embarrassingly murmuring ‘m close Haz’ so lightly that maybe Harry won’t even hear him, but Harry does. Harry always hears him, always knows what his baby wants or is feeling. But he knows Louis is embarrassed right now, and no. That can not do. Harry can not have Louis thinking it’s a bad thing to be this close already, because to Harry it’s one of the hottest things ever. So. Harry felt obliged to inform Louis about this. So he did.

“Yeah Lou? You close already baby?” Harry started, leaning up and whispering into Louis’ ear, finally moving his hand so Louis didn’t have to, pushing straight into Louis prostate. Louis nodded fiercely as he shoved his head into Harry’s neck, his favorite spot on Harry, or so Louis says. “God kitten, that’s so fucking hot. You missed this huh? You missed it this much?” He asked, jabbing Louis’ prostate with the tips of his fingers, fingering Louis with a purpose now (not like he didn’t have one before, but still). Louis whimpered out a breathy ‘yes yes yes’ and pushed down on Harry’s fingers, wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck. “God, I missed it too baby. Miss feeling you like this,” he punctuated the ‘feeling’ part of that sentence with a circle of his finger around Louis’ walls, making Louis’ hips buck up unintentionally. Harry noticed that Louis was biting his lip, obviously trying to stop the noises from coming out of his mouth and he should remember the rules. Even if they aren’t being remotely kinky tonight, the rules still stand.

  1. Use the safeword if need be, no matter if you want Harry to feel good or not. If you don’t feel good, Harry doesn’t feel good.
  2. Always say please, and thank you.
  3. Never be greedy unless Harry lets you be greedy, never take more than what’s being given.
  4. Don’t hold back.



Harry knows his baby would _never_ forget about the rules, so he decides to gently remind him about the issue.

“Hmm, you know what I miss the most though? Those pretty noises you always make love.” He said, as he pushed a third finger into Louis, twisting his wrist slightly, so he would hit that certain spot in Louis as soon as he slid into him. “I miss the noises that make me cum so hard when I’m inside you, the ones that I practically force out of you. . .The ones you make that prove to me that I’m doing a good job at making you feel your best. The ones that you’re so obviously trying to hide from me right now. . . You haven’t forgotten the rules already, have you baby?” Harry finishes, nipping at Louis’ earlobe, which causes Louis’dick to twitch a bit.

Louis shook his head no, letting out little ‘uh uh uh’s’ every time his hips met Harry’s fingers.

“N-No, but I get really l-loud and _fuck do that again please_ , and it gets a-annoying, _shit_.” Louis managed to get out, grinding down onto Harry’s hand. Harry practically growled at that, before shoving his fingers in at almost a painful pace, but good thing for them, they both knew how much Louis got off on pain.

“Who. The _fuck_ . Told you that?” Harry said, punctuating every word with a thrust of his hand right into Louis sweet spot. “Was it that asshole Nick? It was, wasn’t it. God, I’m going to kill him Lou. Please, please, please don’t believe him for a fucking second. . .” Harry finished, absolutely vivid, now even more determined to get his baby to the high he deserved. Harry started fingering him faster, scissoring his fingers on the way in, and twisting them on the way back out, making sure to pull the noises that only made Harry even harder, out of Louis mouth. “God, how does he even have the fucking nerve to tell you that? How does he have the mentality that he is good enough to insult someone as beautiful and good as you without paying for it? Nobody is better than you baby, I don’t know what the fuck is going through his mind all the time but I do know that the next time I see that cunt I’m busting his face in, because god your noises, Louis. They’re everything,” Harry could tell that Louis was getting close because his breaths were getting much, much shorter, his moans and whimpers were getting literal octaves higher, and mostly. . . Harry just _knew_. And that awes Harry, how quickly they were able to fall back into each other’s roles like this. It’s like they never even left them, and well. Harry concludes that he doesn’t really mind that much.

“Your noises were what got me off the most when you were gone. . . Remember that one time we recorded while we did a scene? So we could find out what we sound like? God I don’t think I listened to anything else for _months_ after you left. I’d come home from work after hoping you would show up, with such a hard on because all I could think about was you . . . And I would get on our laptop and I would sit back and play it _over_ , and _over_ again and god I would cum so hard. . . And the only thing that I would be able to think of is that we should of video taped one.”

And long story short, that’s what made Louis finally reach his peak. The mention of making a fucking sex tape. It didn’t even surprise Harry how down he was for that. But Harry wouldn’t even mind having this recorded, so he could watch whenever he wasn’t with Louis. . . And maybe just to watch because he could, because this image, being able to see Louis like this -back arched, arse stuffed full of fingers, uncapable of something as simple as making coherent sentences- is something Harry could see every day for the rest of his life and never get tired of. As soon as Harry had said those words Louis was shooting up onto his stomach with a cry of _harryharryharry_ and _yesyesyes_.

Harry rubbed over Louis’ prostate once more, trying to milk his orgasm as long as possible, until Louis actually started to grind back down onto Harry’s fingers again. And. Well. Harry’s speechless, is the thing. Louis’ going at it like he needs Harry’s fingers in order to breath, and the fact that that’s so hot to Harry kind of concerns him. Louis literally just came not even two minutes ago, and he’s already back and begging for more, no shame what so ever. And this. This right here. Harry missed this.

“God, Lou. You’re practically _gagging_ for it. . .Look at you baby. . .” Harry trailed off, running his eyes up and down Louis, looking at him with such a hunger in his eyes it made Louis’ cock twitch. Literally. Harry saw it. He chuckled and bent down to kitten lick at the tip, collecting some of the cum it was covered in onto his tongue. It made Louis shiver, and look down to see Harry humming with his eyes closed, savoring the taste of Louis on his tongue.

“You always tasted so good Lou, I missed it. But I know somewhere you taste better.” Harry said, cheekily. Louis would never admit how much his cock perked up at the mention of such a corny line that probably came straight from a porno movie, but damn did it.

“Please, please, please Harry. Please Haz I’ve missed you there so fucking much, ple-” Louis was cut short by his own moan, because Harry had shoved his face to where his fingers had previously been located. Harry licked, and slurped, and made obscene noises you really should only ever hear in porn, before coming up for a second to say,

“All you had to do was ask, baby.” And then he was back down in between Louis’ cheeks, going at it like his life depended on it. He licked around the puckered muscle a few times, before pointing his tongue and pushing it through Louis’ hole, earning a high pitched whine in response, and a pair of hands grabbing onto his hair with a death grip. Not like Harry minded anyway. Louis knows how much Harry enjoys his hair being pulled. Harry nibbled on the skin, making Louis arch his back and grind his bum onto Harry’s face. And Harry decided this time, he would let him. So Harry moved his hands from where they had been resting on Louis’ hips and interlocked them behind his own back, waiting for Louis to get the hint. And it didn’t take Louis long to notice the lack of heat on his hips, so when he looked down and saw Harry giving himself up in such a way, it didn’t take him longer than five seconds for him to take advantage of it.

He gripped Harry’s head of hair with more purpose now, and rocked back onto his tongue, letting out a string of _fuckfuckharryshit._ Harry moaned at the feeling of Louis using him, because the only thing he’s been wanting for god knows how long is to make Louis feel this good again. He buried his face where Louis wanted him, and let Louis guide him wherever he felt best.

“O-Oh fuck, Harry. Please please please. . .” Louis begged, rocking his hips onto Harry’s face, causing Harry to get spit all along the outside of his mouth. Harry just hummed, which made Louis cry out and grind down faster. Louis was soon letting out a small “m close again, fuck.” all embarrassment and shame was discarded when Harry first put his mouth on him. Louis’ thighs tensed around Harry’s neck, and his toes curled against Harry’s back, signalling he was even closer than he thought. Taking his chance, Harry pinned Louis’ hips to the bed, cutting off all movement for Louis, nibbled on the puckered skin for a split second, and then sucked as hard as he could on Louis, causing Louis to arch his back and cum all over his chest for the second time that night.

Harry removed his head from between Louis’ legs, and looked up at Louis, while rubbing his sides comfortingly.

“That’s it baby, there you go. Come on Lou. . . You feel good yeah?” Harry said, giving Louis a mini massage, knowing it will take a little more time and work to get to this next orgasm he plans on giving him. All Louis could do was hum, already feeling light and floaty, as if he would just fly away if Harry didn’t keep a solid grip on him. His head was filled with fluff and his eyes were glazed over, and when he looked down at Harry: face covered in Louis’ juices and his own saliva, it only made everything worse. Louis’ cheeks heated up and he stared at the ceiling, trying to get himself to calm down.

Harry, noticing the flushed reaction that Louis just gave him, hurriedly wiped his face off on the sheets and crawled up the bed and hovered over Louis’ face. Louis wouldn’t make eye contact with him, and that kind of upset Harry, because blue has been his favorite color for ten years, and even though he’s pretty sure he’s got his color back, it still can’t look Harry in the eyes.

“Lou, what’s wrong?” Harry asked, hands cradling the sides of Louis’ head, trying to lock eyes with the brown-haired boy laying under him, but failing nonetheless. “Louis. Baby. If you want me to stop I ca--”

“No! God, no. Don’t stop. It’s just, a lot Harry. Give me a second.” Louis interrupted, rapidly shaking his head, and finally meeting eyes with Harry.

And if they stayed like that for however long they did, it didn’t matter because it made Harry give Louis the most powerful kiss he might have _ever_ given Louis, and that says a lot. Because, well, when Harry saw Louis, _really_ looked and saw Louis, he saw the boy he had fallen in love with all those years ago.That clumsy boy he had met that wore suspenders and bright red pants with striped shirts and vans, and owned it. The one that hated his glasses and his fringe that Harry loved to card his hands through. He was, for lack of better wording, swept down memory lane, and it was too much to handle alone. So he kissed Louis, which is what always seemed to solve his problems, and tried to muster as much emotion into the lip lock as he could, and it worked, because Louis started rutting up against Harry’s stomach again. Harry chuckled, deep and low in his throat, and trailed his kisses down Louis’ neck again.

“Harry, Harry, Harry. . . Haz. Hazza baby, I. I need you to get in me. Like right now. I can’t do anything else before you get in me.” Louis whimpered out, shamelessly rutting into Harry now like his life depended on it.

“Okay, okay, okay. . . Just let me get the stuff okay baby?” Harry said, kissing Louis’ temple and reaching over into the nightstand and grabbing the cherry flavored lube (Louis’ favorite), and returning to the bed. “No rubber, right?” Harry asked, because even though he was pretty sure what Louis’ answer was going to be, he wanted, no _needed_ , to be 100% sure.

“Have you fucked anybody else bare since we’ve been apart?” Louis asked, cringing at just the thought of Harry trusting anybody else with that kind of power over him.

“Haven’t fucked anybody else period. Didn’t want to.” Harry said, repeating the same thing for the second time that night.

“Well then obviously I don’t have a problem with it. Just, hurry up. Please.” Louis said, wiggling his hips around. And so that’s what Harry did. He squirted a nice amount of the lube onto his fingers and wrapped them around his shaft, hissing at the icy/hot pleasure it gave him, and then he remembered why he felt so close from just two simple flicks of his wrist. One, he’s got Louis lying naked in front of him, which is enough to bring even the straightest of men to their knees. And, two, he’s been rock hard practically since Louis showed up to his front door which was, how long ago? 20 minutes? An hour? Three hours? That he didn’t know, but what he did know was that he wouldn’t last very long, if he could even manage until after he actually entered Louis.

“And, Louis? I hope you know that I’m not going to fuck you right now. I’m going to love you,” Harry said, as he lined up his cock with Louis’ hole. As cliche as it sounded, Louis would never admit how much it made his heart jump when he heard it. “I’m going to love you the way that only I can. The way that that stupid _Nick_ twat will never be able to. Just me. Only me.” Was what Harry ended with as he finally pushed his head through the tight ring of muscles. Louis cried out and shoved his face into Harry’s neck, which smelled like sweat, sex, and Harry which made Louis’ mind even fuzzier than it already was. Louis had never thought of himself as the ‘cries during sex’ kind of guy, but Harry was currently proving him wrong, because as Harry bottomed out he was almost full on sobbing (but if you ever ask Louis he’ll only say, ‘it’s only because of how sex deprived I was. I was desperate, let me live). But him and Harry both knew that yes, the burn from the size of Harry’s girth inside of Louis that made Louis feel like he was being ripped apart definitely _was_ a factor for the salty tears sliding down Louis’ face, but the main reason was also simple. It was because of how much he missed Harry. How much he missed this. How much he missed _being_ Harry’s and Harry being his. He missed and missed and loved and loved and hoped and hoped and he finally got it back. He had finally gotten his everything back, and if you’ve never experienced it than you probably don’t understand. But that’s okay, because all Louis needed was Harry and Harry definitely understood Louis exactly, if the sudden wetness Louis felt on his shoulder was anything to go by.

Harry was panting, and trying not to come then and there, when he remembered what his mission for tonight was. And that was to focus on Louis. And if Harry had to wait another 9 months to come again he felt like he could deal with it, because the goal tonight was not for him to be satisfied because of his own personal pleasures, it was to make Louis so fucking satisfied that Harry would be as happy as Louis is, even if he doesn’t get to come. So he stopped thinking about how hard he was, and how good Louis felt, and started focusing on how to angle his hips the exact right way to hit Louis’ prostate dead on without needing a second try. And Harry got it. He moved his hips so that they were facing more towards the ceiling than directly at Louis, and he slowly pulled out of Louis, until just the head was in, really letting Louis feel it, before slowly thrusted back in, but with enough force to knock Louis up the bed with the impact. And god, the noise that Louis yelped out when he felt Harry rub over that bundle of nerves inside of him perfectly was pornstar worthy. Harry had to clench his teeth and bite the inside of his mouth to keep himself from just fucking into him like he wanted to. But this wasn’t about him. This was about Louis.

And if that didn’t make Louis feel like the happiest man in the world, he didn’t know what would. Because Louis knew that Harry was holding back, denying his own self pleasure in trade for Louis’ and that was the hottest fucking thing Louis had ever experienced in his entire life. He knew how Harry liked it, quick, hard, and rough. The kind that left you so exhausted you slept the whole night afterwards. And yeah, Louis absolutely loved when Harry got rough with him, made him so desperate for it that the only thing he could remember how to say was ‘Harry’ and ‘please’, but Harry knew that Louis liked the slow stuff better. Louis always liked to be dominated, no matter what, but he liked it when it was held out. When it took longer, when Harry would work him up, tell him how good he’s doing and how pretty he looked doing it. He liked being taken care of slow and steady. And the fact that Harry hasn’t had anything that he wanted in these past months, and yet still deprives himself in sake of Louis’ own wants only makes Louis want to cry harder.

As Harry builds up a rhythm with his thrusts into Louis, he reached his neck down and lowered his lips to Louis’ and captured them into a lip lock. Louis kissed back, hard, and wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck, meeting his thrusts with his own hips. In all honesty, it wasn’t even a real kiss. It was basically just a lot of tongue and breathing into each others mouths, but Louis couldn’t have asked for more. He could tell that it was getting really hard for Harry. And by god, all Louis wanted was Harry, _all of Harry,_ inside of him again. So he moved his head to Harry’s ear, wrapped his arms all the way around Harry’s neck, and whispered into his ear,

“I’m still so in fucking love with you Haz.” and ended it with a cheeky bite to his ear. Harry’s breath hitched, and his hips started going faster, and faster, until he stilled all together deep within Louis and emptied his load. Warm, wet, and sticky was all Louis could feel, and it was all he had ever wanted, so it didn’t take him long to cum, once again. It didn’t look like much, a meager attempt at an orgasm you could say, only spurting a few drops onto his stomach, almost cumming dry. . . But to Louis it felt like his entire world stopped. It felt like he could finally be happy again because Harry was right there. He was here and they were in bed, and they were disgusting and in desperate need of a shower, but Louis didn’t want it any other way because to Louis it felt best like this. He felt like it was just him and Harry and nothing could ever hurt them again because they were HarryandLouis and that’s how it’s supposed to be. Everything was okay again.

And if Harry carried Louis to the bathtub and put in one of the bath bombs he had kept in case Louis ever came back, and scrubbed him clean and then going for round two because Louis couldn’t take how Harry was touching him. . . Then they did. And it’s no one’s business but theirs.


End file.
